I miss the smell of my rapists cock

It smelled so bad when it was in my face. Its been years and i still remember the smell and the taste. I miss it so much. The sweaty, musky smell of cock. I need it so much. It made me so horny. My cock was rock hard when i got raped its so embarrassing. It makes me wish i get raped again by a big smelly cock just to be triggered by it.