So, I(28M) think I might have figured out I was gay tonight. The real story is quite long, but here's the condensed version:
Around 3 years ago I took a sales job that required me to do a bit of travelling to meet different clients. I was not great at it to be honest ; I took the job because I wanted a foot in the door and to hop to the creative side. However, a year into my job, the firm was sold to a larger company who does all the creative. Lol. Fuck me. Anyways.
At one point, I was very, very worried I was going to get fired. Every talk with my manager was her berating me for not hitting my targets, etc. Not great! I found myself on the road meeting a client who was an on older gay man (52). He was very into fitness, not that tall, maybe 6 feet but in very good shape for a guy his age. He does those CrossFit competitions and IronMans and things like that. Not to be stereotypical, but I didn't know what everyone said he was gay, until I found out his husband was some very effeminate smaller man who was probably in his 30s but looked at acted like he was in college. Interesting dude. We met a handful of times and hit it off and on the 5th visit, we were ready to finalize the terms. I was there with my partner and he was there with someone else from his company and we closed the deal over dinner. The four of us went to the bar to celebrate after. The other two left and this man C and I were a bit drunk.
I don't remember how it came up, but C basically said it was always his fantasy to get his dick sucked by a subordinate at work, like a male secretary fantasy it sounded like. But, he said, in the corporate world that's a no fucking way. And then he sort of looked at me and raised his eyebrow and then looked down at his crotch. Dude. I could see the thick outline of his dick through his suit pants. It was like a thick rod on top of his thigh. I asked about his husband (and he noted that it was “cute” because that's not most “straight” guys objection), and he said they were in an open relationship and texted him a picture of me asking “Can this cute guy suck my dick?” to prove it.
I was drunk enough and happy enough about the deal that I shrugged and we went up to my hotel room where he stood in the middle of the hallway, unzipped his pants and pulled the shaft of his semi hard dick through his zipper and then put both hands on my shoulders and pushed me down. I remember being disappointed. It looked fucking big and thick lick this, I wanted to see the whole thing. And the balls. I looked up at him kinda confused and he was like “This is part of it.” Even in the moment, I had to bite my cheek from laughing. So, I sucked his dick. It was actually not bad at all. I did pretend I was in a porn and just sort of thought of it that way. Like in my head, this was a porn scene being played out, not a weird irl version of a fantasy.
I was definitely into it, because at some point I took my clothes off to act as pads for my knees and my untouched dick was so hard it was almost leaking precum. When he saw that, C really started to go for it. He helped me take more and more of his dick down my throat, holding my neck so I couldn't reflexively draw to pull away when I started to gag. I felt like I was taking a ton, but he told me it was barely any. He gets really verbal, calling my a cock sucker, a faggot, etc. And because he has this deep, kind of manly voice, so it actually sounded kind of dangerous and aggressive. I had never experienced anything that hot before. At one point, he feels comfortable enough asking me to open up, curl my lips under my teeth a bit and stick out my tongue and go “Ah” and he shoves as much of his dick down my throat as he can.
My god. At first, I panic a bit because I was choking, but hearing him call me his “fuck puppet” and say shit like “Let me use this throat I bought” ultimately put me in such a headspace that I was so turned on I wanted to choke more. I can't explain it. I tried bob my head and he laughed. At this point, he pulls me up and kisses me and our dicks touch as I'm standing up. I immediately cum shooting a huge load everywhere, some of it landing on his cock. He stopped kissing when I moaned and smiled and marveled at my cumshot, before pushing my back down to lick my cum off his dick. After he did that, he jerked off for a minute or so before sticking the head of his dick in my mouth to cum. He put his dick back in his pants, kissed me once more, and jokingly said he was disappointed I didn't cum from his kiss that time. My involvement with clients is reduced once they sign on, so I sorta figured this was a one time thing.
And it would have been, but then I get an email from him announcing that he and his husband were moving to my city and would the two of us want to get together when they settle in? I said sure, thinking it would be the 3 of us and thus I wouldn't have to worry about anything. So, I was surprised when it was just he waiting there for me. I gave him a hand job in the bathroom of the restaurant and he still managed to want a blowjob (downstairs while his husband slept upstairs). He offered a room if I wanted to spend the night since it was late and I did. The next morning the three of us just had a fun, normal breakfast. I started going over there to suck his dick once a week from last spring all the way through November. Then, he told me they wanted to try being monogamous as a couple, so….
Tonight, I got together with an ex gf from college and told her a less explicit version of this story (leaving gender more ambiguous, referring to bi experiences with another guy). And her response was, “Well, you got dumped. You were in a relationship with this person and they left you and you're heartbroken. You don't know how much it means to me ” And it hit me… I am. I had never thought of it before, but the greatest, most intense sexual experiences of my life were all with him. I'd cancel dates to go over to his place instead. I'd plan to see him strategically based on how stressful my week was and when I'd need something fun.
She left the dating thanking me for coming out to her and joking if she was the one who turned me gay. That's when I realized how obvious it was to her. I thought I was just sharing a bit of gossip about my love life that made me seem fun and adventurous. She heard me talk about how much I loved cock.
It took me a few days to realize… She was right. I fell in love with his massive fucking cock. But, now that he's gone… What do I do?