Masculine straight guy with mixed feelings

I’m a straight guy with a gf and quite masculine I have beard and workout so I’m quite muscular. I don’t see myself as gay as I would never find a man attractive and want to have a relationship with. I’ve never done anything with guys before. However, I’ve had this obsession with really big dicks and bigger men than me (I’m 5’4 for reference). I have began to fantasise of a bigger man controlling me and dominating me while become his sub.

I get in a submissive thinking about another man showing me what it’s like to be a real man. And part of this has lead to my forced feminisation kink. Like a man making me become feminine in all ways, moaning loud wearing panties and treating me like a bitch. That being said it only turns me on when I imagine a man who is bigger and stronger than me that could overpower me. As I don’t think I could submit to someone who is weaker than me.

But I just wanted to put this out there and to see if there is anyone willing to chat about it.